I gotta give you your flowers while you’re living, my sister and friend Hannah texted me two years ago after I had thanked her for her edifying and encouraging words to me. I never forgot the words of that text. There was something about the imagery contained in it, the eloquence of it and the truth of it. 

This year has been exhausting for everyone, to say the least. News of disaster upon disaster from all corners of the globe. Friends of friends dying; untimely, tragic deaths of people in the news day in day out and here in America the issues of police brutality, racial inequalities, the chaos of the political arena (and an upcoming election season!) at the forefront of our social consciousness. It’s just too much. Not to mention all of our personal difficulties and life’s struggles we are all dealing with. 

This year has reminded us of just how not in control we are of the world and our lives; how fragile this life and this world really is.

“Giving people their flowers” (whether literal and metaphorical) is just a way to be consistent and intentional about letting the people in our lives know how much we love them and value them through our words and our actions. In the midst of all the chaos going on within or around us, it is necessary for us to be anchored in truth and to be constantly encouraged and edified. I know it can be depressing and dark to think about but the truth of the matter is that we don’t know when any of us will die. I may have the next 70 years to live or only the next 70 minutes. I do not know for sure. It is only God’s grace that keeps us moment by moment.

None of us desires for us or our beloved to die prematurely, but we also don’t want to be wishing: “oh I wish I had encouraged my friend more, I wish I taken time to text Felicia how much she means to me or to express my gratitude with a gift to Lagbaja to thank him for all he has done for me. Who knows if Lagbaja or Felicia need an encouraging word that you can bring at just the perfect moment to lift their spirits? Life is short, and I think it has been said that no one makes it out alive (it’s true–well unless you are Elijah or Enoch, but I digress). While we live, will we give people their flowers?

Giving people their flowers can take many forms. Yes, it can be literal flowers you give to people. And yes, it can be about telling people how great they are and what they mean to you. But it can also involve building people up with the truth of God’s Word continually. We are so weak; we are always in need of a pick-me-up, and how great would it be if everyone can rest assured that they will not go a week without a friend, or family member, or a brother/sister-in-Christ steering their hearts back to Christ through a text, call or actions that remind them of God’s truth and his words of encouragement and His promises. 

Maybe it’s just because I am a lover of words, but I have been so edified so many times when someone will just text me an encouraging word or the content of a prayer that they are praying for me or how much I mean to them. It always lifts my spirits and encourages me to press on in this race of life that can be so exhausting and painful at times.

At the same time, the author of Hebrews addresses his own kind of “flowers”. He writes of the rebellion of the Israelites in the days when God brought them out of Egypt. Because of their hardened hearts and their stubborn disobedience, God punished them by not allowing that generation to enter into the Promised Land (Canaan). The author of Hebrews then applies the lesson to his own audience and he says:

“Take care, brothers [and sisters], lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today”, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.” -Hebrews 3:12-14

So, while giving people flowers certainly can and should be encouraging, edifying and affirming words and actions, this passage helps us see that giving people their  flowers can also sometimes involve convicting words and warnings. Warning people we love when we see them in habitual, unrepentant patterns of sin (and being willing to receive warning ourselves), exhorting them with grace and truth, praying for them and taking them before the throne of God, loving them enough to give them their “flowers” while they are living shows that we care for them and value them. The world often speaks of love as affirming everything about somebody (so that when you disagree with someone’s choices you are “unloving” or a “bigot”); God speaks of love as concern for the real flourishing of a person which will sometimes be at odds with what the person even wants.

Taking flowers to honor and cherish the memories of the dead is great, but what is greater is letting the people you love know how valued they are, letting them know how much they mean to you and reminding them of the truths of God while there is still time to do so. Giving flowers involves sharing with them what areas you see them thriving and maturing and bearing fruit in Christ as well as warning them when they are in error or sin so that we don’t develop a hardened heart in unbelief and sin.

I hope that, as Hannah spoke of giving me flowers while I am living, I too can develop a lifestyle of giving people their flowers while they are living.

Who will you give “flowers” today?